Everything happens for a reason...

When I was 15 years old, I was diagnosed with scoliosis, a curvature of the spine. That is one of the reasons I am so short. My spine is shaped like an "S". Short parents had something to do with it too. I had surgery to prevent my spine from bending any further. I have rods in my spine.

When you are 15 and have to put your life on hold and have mayor surgery, you ask yourself "Why did this have to happen?"

Well, that question was answered four years later when I had a major car accident an suffered a spinal cord injury. The injury was incomplete. My spinal cord was not completely severed and I gain a lot of movement back after years physical therapy. The doctors said that if I hadn't had those rods in my spine, the injury would have been a lot worst.

So after a week in coma, five months in the hospital, two surgeries and years of physical therapy, I asked myself again "Why did this have to happen?". It turns out that the injury affected mostly the left side of my brain. The right side of my brain stepped up. I became more artistically inclined. After graduating college with a management degree, I did the obvious thing. I became a happy full-time artist. Question answered again.

Fast-forward to now. About a year ago, I moved to Maryland to be with my family because I'm having problems with my hip and probably need surgery. I'm not having the best time. It's been hard to meet people living in the suburbs working from home and not begin able to drive (or lately walk much). I know I would be having a much better (and funner) time back in Paducah where all my friends are. So I asked myself that same stupid question.

Last night I was chatting with my friend Donna Maria. She lives in Paducah but was raised in Maryland. I was telling her about my health issues and asked her if she knew any neurologists in the area.

DM: Not of the top of my head. I'll let you know if I think of someone.
ME: Ok
DM: Wait, wasn't Christopher Reeve's doctor in Baltimore?
ME: Didn't he live in NY?
DM: I'm pretty sure he was in Baltimore.
ME: I don't know but let me see what I can find out.
(5 seconds later)
DM: Look at this website...

Donna Maria was right. Christopher Reeve's doctor is here. Not only him but the International Center for Spinal Cord Injury is here! Can't believe that with all the doctors I have seen here, no one told me about that. I sent them an email at midnight last night and called them first thing in the morning today. They had seen my email and had already sent me an information packet. They even take my health insurance.

I got a good feeling about this. So the question has been answered one more time. Why did I move to Maryland where I'm not having such a great time when I could be in Paducah with my friends? This is why.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Last night I went to see the movie The Diving Bell & The Butterfly. I didn't know what was the movie about until half an hour before the movie. If I had known, I probably wouldn't have gone to see it. It was a good movie but it reminded me so much of my accident, that it was a little depressing.

The movie is based on a true story of a guy who had a stroke and couldn't move anything except his left eye. His speech therapist gave him a method to communicate. She gave him a chart with the alphabet. She recites the letters and when she gets to the letter that spells what he wants to say, he blinks once. He ended up writing a book using this method with a very patient transcriptionist.

When I had the accident, I couldn't move anything and I couldn't talk because I had a tracheotomy. So in the hospital they used the same method with me. This only lasted a few weeks (not sure, I'm a little fuzzy on the time). After a few weeks they took out the tracheotomy and I could speak again. While I was going thru that I remember thinking "How can I say what I want to say in as few words as possible?" I can't imagine writing a whole book.

Seeing the movie depressed me a little but it also made me very thankful that my condition is not as bad as it could have been.

Here's a trailer
http://www.imdb.com/video/trailer/me60707328/

I had a dream

Yesterday I had a dream. You know one of those dreams that when you are dreaming it, you know you are in a dream and you act like you wouldn't normally act because you know it's just a dream and your actions have no consequences. In the dream I was having a fight with a friend and I could have easily said "Ok, I'm sorry. Let's do this or that." but instead I just keep pushing his buttons until he was about to hit me and then I forced myself to wake up because I didn't wanted to be there anymore.

Well, that's is what happened when I had the accident. For those of you that don't know, I had a serious car accident 10 years ago and suffered a spinal cord injury. Anyway, when I woke up from a 5-day coma, I thought I was in a dream. I'm in a hospital bed not being able to move a finger, not being able to talk because I had a tracheotomy and everyone that was supposed to be in Puerto Rico and everyone that was supposed to be in Massachusetts where in the same room. I must be dreaming.

I acted in ways I wouldn't have because I though I was dreaming. I remember many times my Mom wanted to go to the hotel and I made her stay because I thought people in dreams don't get tired. And I kept listening to the same CD, not because I really liked it but because it was easier to tell people not to change it even though everyone was sick of the same music.

In movies when someone wakes up in the hospital, they always ask why they are there. I don't remember asking why I was there or anyone explaining to me why I was there. Maybe someone did but I don't remember. When you are having a dream you never ask why something is happening.

I think in a way, that was the way my mind dealt with it. I never got really depressed because after a month and a half of thinking I was in a dream, I started realizing it wasn't a dream but by then I was used to the idea of being paralyzed that it didn't affected me as bad as it would have.